Arrest Made in Spinach Death

A Gelotolgy Today Exclusive

Listen to Steven Hawking read this article

Los Angeles- Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber always had a moral message in their long-running "VeggieTales" video series, but they weren't talking when asked to comment on news that an arrest has been made in the death of one person and the sickening of 166 others from E. Coli infected spinach.

Arrested late last night on an undisclosed spinach farm somewhere near Los Angeles, California was Kale The Spinach, 33 , of Garden Grove, California.

The investigation into the source of the nationwide epidemic took an unexpected turn Wednesday when police recieved a tip call from ex-lover and longtime co-star of the hit children's television series, Larry The Cucumber, 27 of South Central.

Sources close to the investigation tell GT that Kale and Larry had an on-again - off-again homosexual relationship going back to 1996, and that stories published in the news media of Larry The Cucumber's troubles with the religous right, when a battery-operated Larry The Cucumber toy was pulled from store shelves and banned after choking incidents involving 3 children and a 63 year old minister from Wisconsin, put a strain on their relationship. But lately it's reports of bar-hopping and rumors of a secret affair with Paris Hilton that may have been too much for the leafy-green star.

Kale The Spinach is charged with one count of first degree murder and numerous counts of attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, and various food tampering charges after DNA samples taken by police tested positive for the E. Coli strain responsible for the attacks. Police deny rumors of ties to al-Qaeda or any other terrorist groups. Kale The Spinach spent six months in Pakistan in 2004, insisting his visit was part of a U.N. food relief program there.

Police are interrogating the part human- part vegetable suspect to determine where and when he spread the E. Coli and what other Vegetable-Americans he may have come in contact with. Files recovered from The Spinach's home computer led investigators to the 22nd floor apartment of Laura Carrot, were they found her lifeless body dangling from her own stalk to the balcony below. Authorities launched a seperate investigation into whether the death was a suicide or if foul play was involved and if Laura played any part in the E. Coli attacks. Being called in for questioning and testing, among others, are 5 year old Junior Asparagus, Petunia Rhubarb, the imfamous Madame Blueberry, and due to FDA concerns over the impending fall harvest, the comic duo of Jimmy and Jerry Gourd.

On Friday, officials said spinach grown anywhere outside that area is safe to eat — but the industry needs to figure out how to let consumers know the origin of what they're buying before the green can return to sale, said Dr. David Acheson of the FDA's Center for Food Safety and Applied Nutrition.

Gelotology Today reporters were waiting outside the courthouse when sheriff's deputies transported Kale The Spinach to his arraignment hearing yesterday. He appeared whithered and limp as he approached the courthouse.

We got a chance to ask the suspect if he was bitter over being turned in by his co-star turned homosexual lover and if he had anything to say to him......"Eat me", he said.

Stay tuned to GT News for more on this developing story.