GT Needles Seattle's New Slogan -- Metronatural

GT News Editorial by Editor Dave

For all those travel bugs who put their plans to visit the beautiful state of Washington on hold until they announced their new slogan, pack your bags.

The Seattle tourism board is proud to announce their new slogan, "Seattle metronatural".

No, my spellchecker is not on the fritz (I had to teach it this hip new word; just hit 'Add' on the spellchecker menu).

Seattle's Convention and Visitors Bureau spent $200,000 coming up with this gem and plans to spend another $300,000 marketing the slogan, which is targeted at generating business for the Washington Convention and Trade Center.

Real estate tycoons are frothing at the mouth to get in on this deal. I can hear the conversation now.

(Star wipe to the real estate developer's meeting at Donald Trump's new Trump University )

Trump: I'm not saying I'm smarter, and richer, and better looking than everyone else to be braggadocios. It's just being honest. It is what it is.

Merv Griffin: True, but you don't own the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, and have 15 Emmy Awards.

Trump: Wait until they see the new season of The Apprentice, you fat bastard.

Merv Griffin: So what now Trump, I'm bored.

Trump: I'm reading here Seattle has got a fly new slogan targeted at generating new business.

Merv: What is it?

Trump: It says here, Seattle metronatural. I wonder what it means.

Merv: Does that mean we're allowed to walk around the city naked?

Trump: I guess.

Merv: Well it's about time. I haven't done that since Vanna White threatened me with sexual harassment on the set of Wheel of Fortune.

Trump: (Trump buzzes secretary desk)

Secretary: Yes Sir?

Trump: Get my jet ready, Merv and I are buying the Space Needle.

(Star wipe back to blog)

Heck, for half of what they spent on that turd, I can come up with five better sitting on the crapper.

How about these:

Seattle, the suicide Capitol, and so much more!

Welcome to Seattle. Free umbrellas for everyone!

Don't go to California, you might get E-coli.

Seattle, where runaway children living in the street outnumber horny businessmen 5 to 1.

(Spoken in Mafia accent) Lakes? We got your lakes right here.

Watch, I'll get an email from the board tomorrow.

Mr. GT Editor,

The Seattle tourism board is pleased to inform you of our decision to change our most recent slogan 'Seattle metronatural' to one that you suggested in your GT Editorial column with some revisions.

We spent another $250,000 and our new slogan now reads, 'Don't go to California, come to Seattle, we won't give you E-coli.'

Expect a check in the mail for $200,00 and thank you for the great, new slogan!

Yours truly,
The Smacked Asses at the Seattle Tourism Board

P.S. We had an idea for your next editorial -- Merv Griffin has a really small weenie!