Passengers Without Toilets on Cruise Ship That Has Nowhere to Go

Around 1,450 passengers on a luxury cruise ship have been left without toilets for three days, according to panic-stricken passengers on board.

A series of blockages in the plumbing system is said to have led to "mayhem" on board "Drop Anchor" cruise ship.

Tour operator Hugo Deficate' admitted that there have been problems with the vacuum system of the toilets, confessing they sometimes work in reverse, launching human waste in all directions. The Company who owns the Drop Anchor said it was bringing in a team of "super-technicians", in full protective suits, to fix the system overnight.

A spokeswoman said: "We've already lost 3 crew members and 11 passengers due to slip and fall accidents. We're collecting samples as we speak for insurance purposes, and we hope to identify the parties responsible and have them thrown in the can."

She was unable to confirm how long the toilets had been out of action; the passenger's bloated abdomens and bulging eyeballs belied the assumption it occurred recently.

The huge 11-deck ship is on a seven-day voyage around the Canary Islands and Morocco. The ship is having difficulties getting permission to dock, and rightfully so. We could smell the ship up to 2 nautical miles away, depending on wind conditions and ocean currents.

One couple, Tom and Di Ahrea, from West Yorkshire, boarded the doomed liner as a birthday treat. What they got was anything but a pleasant surprise. "Everywhere you look, there's a reminder of just how bad it has gotten onboard."

Mrs. Ahrea, 51, said,"I'm not holding it in any longer! The ship has been without toilets for three days and hot water for at least 24 hours." In the company's defense GT found plenty of delicious food at the six buffet tables scattered throughout the vessel.

Di said that she and her husband had planned to swim in the Olympic-sized swimming pool today, provided it was not being emptied and disinfected again.

The tension onboard the ship was palpable; we passed by ballrooms filled with passengers in a horrifying mock dance, that if you didn't know any better, would look like any other dance floor, onboard any other cruise ship. The passengers on the Drop Anchor, which is filled to capacity, planned a protest meeting for later on in the day, provided they can find a safe place.

Mr. Ahrea's 60th birthday has been ruined by the plumbing faults, she added. The only bright spot, if you can call it that, is that her husband has a bladder control problem, so fortunately, they brought Depends Adult Undergarments onboard, but he's using them at an alarming rate, and they fear if other passengers catch wind of them, their cabin will be looted. She then mentally broke down as she caught herself mid-sentence, excusing herself from the interview to use the ladies room. "I'm going crazy...this is like that movie, The Perfect Storm, only instead of a hurricane, it's a 'shit storm'. Wait until they hear from our attorney, then the shit is really going to hit the fan," she said.

The Drop Anchor is the largest ship in the fleet, with two swimming pools, six restaurants, three bars, and unfortunately, 737 unusable toilets and 1450 malodorous, and soon to be mutinous, passengers.

We asked the Captain why he hasn't given the order to evacuate. "Are you kidding me?"

We wish to thank our sponsors Charmin, Lysol, Atlas Medical Supply and the brave men and women of the United States Coast Guard, for their generous contributions to help Gelotology Today bring you this report.

GT News is going along with the passengers, and will bring you the all the latest as it happens.