Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Lie

The man who co-wrote the song "Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" had the unsettling experience this week of reading his own obituary; the result of an impostor who went through life claiming to be the author of the 1960s smash hit.

On Tuesday, The Associated Press reported on the death of a 68-year-old man named Paul Van Valkenburgh of Ormond Beach, Fla., who claimed to have written the song under the name Paul Vance. The story cited the man's wife as the source for that claim.

But the music industry's real Paul Vance, a 76-year-old man from Coral Springs, Fla., is alive and well, and says the other Paul Vance appears to have made the whole thing up.

"Do you know what it's like to have grandchildren calling you and say, `Grandpa, you're still alive?"' he said in a telephone interview from Coral Springs. "This is not a game. I am who I am and I'm proud of who I am. But these phones don't stop with people calling thinking I'm dead."

The Paul Vance who wrote the songs ; and provided proof with royalty payments he is still receiving for the hit, said he has been inundated with calls from people who think he died. An owner of racehorses, Vance said two of his horses were scratched from races Wednesday because people thought he had died.

Rose Leroux, the widow of the man who died, said her husband told her that he never got any royalties because he sold the rights when he was young, around 19. She said that by the time they met almost 40 years ago, he was making his living as a salesman.

To prove he is the real songwriter, Vance provided royalty statements showing dozens of payments for the tune sent to his address in Westbury, N.Y., where he lived before moving to Florida.

Leroux said she wished the other Paul Vance had never spoken up. "It's such a long time ago. To have it come out now, I'm kind of devastated," she said. "If this man is getting the royalties why wouldn't he be happy? The more you stir this up the more you'll smell. Paul can't hurt him now --he's dead. And we're not going after him for the royalties."

Editor GT News: I felt sorry for this widow, Rose Leroux, when this story landed on my desk, so I quickly penned a version Rose can call her own. Rose, I give you permission to steal this version, OK Babe?

Click here to play the music, and sing along with the widow!

Rose Leroux thought hubby wrote the lyrics
And that he sold the song rights stupidly
Rose Leroux thought hubby wrote the lyrics
So she put it in his obituary

It was a teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
That Vance had heard for the first time today
A teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
And the grandkids thought he passed away

Paul Vance showed the royalty payments
And the plan that Valkenburgh had hatched
Paul Vance showed the royalty payments
But his racehorses still all got scratched

It was a teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
That Vance had heard for the first time today
A teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
Vance had to gamble in some other way

Leroux wanted Vance to be quiet
Keep hubby"s lie that he wanted to tell
Leroux wanted Vance to be quiet
"The more you stir this up the more you'll smell"

It was a teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
That Vance had heard for the first time today
A teenie weenie little lie, a salesman told before he died
She's still mad at Paul Vance to this day

(From the lyrics to the payments)
(From the payments to the horse)
(From the horse to the smell)
Yes, there isn't any more