Want To Go Green? - Get Lean

by Dave-Editor of Gelotology Today


Do overweight people contribute to global warming? Are the obese responsible for the increasingly worrying world food crisis? Do fat people smell? According to a team from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine-or just in my opinion, yes.


"The obesity epidemic arose with the gradual weight gain of the population," explains Professor James Hill, Professor of Pediatrics and Director of the Clinical Research Unit at the University of Colorado's Center for Nutrition. "The average American adult gains about 1.8 to 2 lbs. of weight a year, which equates to 18-20 pounds over a decade. The first step in addressing the obesity epidemic is stopping this gradual weight gain".


Obese individuals, due to the fact that they eat more, and tend to eat with their mouths open thus swallowing more air, fart more than the average. The average person produces about half a liter of fart gas a day, distributed over an average of about fourteen farts a day. Some farts contain methane, a dangerous greenhouse gas. More dangerous than CO2, this gas allows sunlight to enter the atmosphere freely. When sunlight strikes the Earth’s surface, some of it is reflected back towards space as infrared radiation (heat). Greenhouse gases absorb this infrared radiation and trap the heat in the atmosphere. A solution to this growing environmental crisis is for overweight people to wear fartypants, available by clicking the link here.


Fat people walk less, and drive more. According to researchers at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign and Virginia Commonwealth University, Americans are now pumping 938 million more gallons of fuel annually than they were in 1960 as a result of extra weight in vehicles. And when gas prices average $3.77 a gallon, the tab for overweight people in a vehicle amounts to over $8 million a day. In the journal The Engineering Economist, scientists concluded that each extra pound of body weight in all of today’s vehicles results in the need for more than 39 million gallons of extra gasoline each year. Tell all these gas-asses to take a walk or at least visit America on the Move located here.



Obese individuals consume on average 20 percent more calories than those of normal weight. America, long considered the world's breadbasket, is now implementing food rationing. Major retailers in New York, New England, and on the West Coast are limiting purchases of flour, rice, and cooking oil as demand outstrips supply. At some Costco Warehouses, shoppers grew frustrated and occasionally uttered expletives as they searched in vain for the large sacks of rice they usually buy. "Due to the limited availability of rice, we are limiting rice purchases based on your prior purchasing history," a sign above the dwindling supply said. I recently visited Costco.com and couldn't find any food available.


In 2003, Red Lobster fired CEO Edna Morris and lost millions due an "endless crablegs" promotion. They had grossly underestimated how many pounds of crab legs Americans can eat in one sitting.


All tolled, this adds up to a major environmental crisis. So while you're installing those solar panels on the roof or buying that new hybrid car, think about that second helping at dinner or that sweet snack at midnight-and for the sake of all of us on this precious, blue ball we call Earth...buy a few pairs of Fartypants.




I wish this was posted on Humor-Blogs.com