GT Consumer Corner

Now if your mobile telephone is stolen, you can scream _ and your phone can, too. A new service launched Monday is designed to deter mobile phone theft by equipping telephones with an ear-piercing scream.

The screaming won't stop unless the battery is removed. Even if the thief replaces the phone's SIM card, the handset will not work.

All customers' information is centrally stored, so contacts, ringtones, pictures, texts and other data can be retrieved when a new handset is purchased. The service costs about $18 a month.

The goal of the service is to make mobile phones useless to anyone but the rightful owner.
"We'll see the market for stolen handsets stamped out once and for all," the inventor said.

Other inventions being prepared for market are a refrigerator that insults you when you eat too much, a home computer that snitches on family members with undesirable computing habits, and a toilet that begs to be cleaned.

The refrigerator, being marketed under the name "Smart Aspirations", utilizes facial recognition technology and RFID tags embedded in food products to determine not only who is raiding the fridge, but also what they are removing from it.

Enter your family members' names, weights and dietary restrictions, and let the monitoring begin. Going for the 'Chunkey Monkey' one too many times prompts the unit to say, "Your so fat, your idea of a balanced diet is a ham in both hands." Other weight loss motivators include "that's your third soda today, you get any heavier and we'll have to take your picture from outer space", "your so fat when you turn around, friends hold a welcome back party", and "eat anymore of that cheese my friend, and you'll be bound up for a week." Look for this item in December.

The Cyber-Snitch XPS will change the way the family uses the home computer forever.
The intuitive set-up is a snap and you'll soon be wondering how you got along without it.
Have the kids been surfing where they ought not be surfing? It will snitch the minute the parents log on. The husband hiding the Internet porn window under his financial website? Snagged. The teenaged daughter meeting who she thinks is a 15 year old from a chat room at the mall? This computer will recall verbatim the whole chat session. This computer keeps the whole family honest, and safe.

'Johnny The Clean Latrine' is now on the scene. Did you ever have guests over and someone makes a disgusting mess in the bathroom and despite your best investigative skills, you can't figure out who was the culprit? Well end the excrement exploratory process because this tell-tale toilet talks.

Sensors in the bowl, seat, and two-foot square area surrounding the unit sense a mess and at first, 'Johnny' will issue a warning. Say, for instance, you miss and piddle on the floor; well 'urine' for a shock! 'Johnny' warns, "You missed the bowl, please clean the floor...failure to comply will lead to documentation of this event."

Blue-Tooth technology enables the Administrator to print out reports and incriminating photographs with just a push of the "Who Did What" bio-scan button. With the optional 'Peg, the Paper Roll" installed, it will even inform the young ones when tissue paper in the bowl has reached maximum capacity, forever ending those annoying clogs and overflows. Set it for 'overhand' or 'underhand' bath tissue installation and 'Peg' will make sure guests know which way you like the paper hung. "Johnny The Clean Latrine" is available now at a home improvement center near you.